Things can only get bezzer

Tulkinghorn can exclusively reveal the source of Osborne Clarke‘s tumbling profits (they’re down 14.7 per cent to £233,000, fact fans). Departing partners? Nope. Spiralling costs? Nope. Recession? Uh uh. The reason is actually the First Friday Club. Huh?, Tulkinghorn hears you utter.
The First Friday Club is the firm’s desperate attempt to get its lawyers to speak to one another. Held (you guessed it) on the first Friday of each month, Osborne Clarke generously hands its employees two drinks tokens, to be used at a local bar, to try to encourage a bit of good cheer among its bedraggled troops.
Tulkinghorn understands that the tokens once took the form of a dollar bill adorned with the handsome features of erstwhile managing partner Leslie Perrin. This caused Osborne Clarke’s merry boozers to label them ‘lezzers’. With Leslie ensconced on sabbatical and Simon Beswick taking the reins, they have now been transformed into ‘bezzers’, which really must be a rebranding exercise too far.