Brits bash Bosch

Tulkinghorn is delighted this World Cup malarkey is finally over for another four years.

As far as Tulkinghorn is concerned, it’s jolly unfair of Juan and Joost Foreigner to cheat ­England out of its rightful place at the pinnacle of the world game by resorting to such underhand tactics as passing, moving, marking and ­tackling. Not to mention scoring, something which England has treated with admirable and appropriate disdain recently.

So he was suitably thrilled when news filtered down from Osborne Clarke’s own prestigious summer footy tournament in the heart of Buckinghamshire of a German defeat. Remarkably, the Germans went down on penalties in the final to a home-grown Bristol team after fighting out a goalless draw.

Meanwhile, credit goes to managing partner Simon Beswick who, fresh from an agonising defeat earlier in the tournament, took time off to talk to one of Tulkinghorn’s spies about the firm’s financial results from the sidelines.

Frankly, it’s the kind of work ethic that would have shocked more than a few England players in South Africa.

Sick building syndrome

The global financial crisis may have rattled the cages of a few firms over the past couple of years, but now it seems the very fabric of the buildings in which they occasionally do their work are coming under attack too.

Word of a spate of ­incidents around ­Moorgate last week got Tulkinghorn wondering whether something ­sinister might be in the air around the City. The first apparent ’victim’ of this epidemic was ­Linklaters’ Silk Street HQ where, ­perhaps envious of the understated elegance of the water feature down the road in Slaughter and May’s opulent reception area, word reached ­Tulkinghorn that the pipes above the firm’s entrance foyer had burst, causing the ceiling to cave in on unsuspecting clients. According to the firm, ­however, this was nothing more than a spot of planned ­”refurbishment”.

The same could not be said, however, for events just a few minutes’ walk away at Addleshaw ­Goddard. There, a
full-scale smash-and-grab raid during the night saw the firm lose thousands of pounds’ worth of ­computer ­equipment. The thieves also left the Milton Gate office with an unwanted exposed ­brickwork façade. While Tulkinghorn ­understands that the look might be all the rage down the road in a Shoreditch watering hole, it’s far from what AG’s ­distinguished client roster wants to see.

Then, just to round it off, a power outage at the Gherkin later in the week left lawyers from ­Greenberg Traurig Maher, Kirkland & Ellis and Mayer Brown milling around nervously eyeing each other’s payslips.

Coincidence? Maybe. But, just as bodies ­eventually reject unwanted parasites, could it be that these offices are fighting back against their ­inhabitants? It’s Amityville all over again…

To-do with a drunken sailor

Kaplan Law School’s new head of its Bar Professional Training Course James Wakefield took Lawyer 2B’s summer boat party last month as an ­opportunity to get down with the kids. If you thought strawpeedos were just for boozed-up ­students then think again.

After being dared by a student to take part in the drinking game, Wakefield downed the alcopop in double-quick time. One law society president even admitted that he would be signing up to any ­education provider that has staff who can knock back drink faster than any well-seasoned student.

Meanwhile, a group of Manchester-based ­Addleshaw Goddard trainees only got to the boat by the skin of their northern teeth after they got lost in the great metropolis. The captain was just about to set sail when the pair came ­running down the ­gangplank and jumped aboard. Full marks for effort, but get an A-Z next time.