Tulkinghorn: Motor mouth

Law firm partners are often accused of being ­particularly greedy. But one Halliwells partner has apparently sunk to new lows of self-serving avarice.

While the future for the 813 members of staff at the failed firm is uncertain ­following news that it has filed notice of intention to appoint an administrator, one partner who is set to move over to Hill Dickinson as part of a rescue deal has reportedly been ­complaining.

You’d think that he’d be pleased to have a job at all. Apparently that’s not enough. His gripe is that the company car package at his new firm is not as generous as at his alma mater. Information that no doubt would endear him to the associates and secretaries that slogged their guts out to fatten his pay packet while at Halliwells and who now are doubtless ­wondering how they will pay their own mortgages. Classy.

Carpet braggers

What is this obsession with carpet at the Supreme Court? When the £59m court replaced the House of Lords as the highest court in the land last year, much was made of the ­carpet. It featured in many press releases in the run-up to the court’s ­official ­opening, and when scribes were invited in for a tour by Supreme Court Justice Hale, she dedicated much time to the patterns on the floor.

Now the carpet, designed by Sir Peter Blake – who also designed the cover of Sgt Pepper’s ­Lonely Hearts Club Band album cover for The ­Beatles – has been given a mention in the court’s first annual report.

So, again, Tulkinghorn asks what the ­reason could be for this carpet ­captivation.

He can only assume that those in court prefer ­staring at the floor rather than looking each other in the eye. Better than ­staring at a judge’s rug, perhaps?

Scotch missed

Tulkinghorn recently ­discovered a major step forward in law firm communications: the Todcast.

As the firm itself ­trumpets on its website, these marketing blurbs are “a series of insightful audio broadcasts from a cross-section of employees at top Scottish legal firm Tods Murray”.

Possibly the demands of producing a Todcast is the reason why the Scottish firm told one of ­Tulkinghorn’s hacks recently that the firm was simply “too busy” to fill out the ­questionnaire for this year’s The Lawyer UK 200, thus refusing to divulge its 2009-10 ­financial results.

Nothing to do with ­having a rubbish year then? Possibly, as the last Todcast Tulkinghorn could find was in October 2009, the firm is genuinely too busy to breathe – or share its “insightul audio” with a waiting world.

Whatever next? Tod and chips? Hot Toddies? The hand of Tod? Feel free to send your suggestions to Tulkinghorn.