Tulkinghorn: Blackpool illumination

Tulkinghorn is always reluctant to poke fun at smaller firms, no matter how much ­ammunition they provide. But he found it impossible to resist when the following press release dropped into his virtual inbox.

“A Blackpool law firm, Coope Purvis & Taylor, has announced plans to merge with Blackhurst Budd, ­creating the largest legal firm based on the Fylde Coast.”

The where? They say there’s life outside London. Here, at last, is the proof.

Village of the Rams

Check out our regular Work-Life Quiz. There you’ll find Ian Beardmore, senior partner at Midlands firm Flint Bishop.

Beardmore, bless him, has revealed to the world that he is a fan of Derby County. It appears, ­somewhat incredibly, that Beardmore is not alone.

“We’re all Derby fans,” gushed Emma Pickering, an account executive at Flint Bishop’s external PR firm. “BHPR’s office is 200m from the stadium, and my colleague Clare operates the scoreboard at matches.”

Well, someone has to.

Fighting fit

Tulkinghorn recently ­discovered how a select group of Jones Day ­partners unwind after a tough day in the office. Don’t worry, it’s just about safe for a family audience.

Word recently reached Tulkinghorn that the favoured pastime for a number of partners – including Adam ‘hit me as hard as you can’ Plainer and Paul ‘I’ve got new ­boxing gloves’ Bromfield – is a few sweaty rounds in the ring over at Top Notch gym in Blackfriars.

In fact, not only did word reach Tulkinghorn, but an invitation also found its way to ­Tulkinghorn Towers. It transpired that it was the latest in a long line of ­challenges. Jones Day ­regularly invites its clients and other contacts to take part in special ‘getting to know you’ sessions. There’s client care for you.

Apparently the Daily Express and Freshfields cried off, but Jones Day’s wannabe hardmen have had a few clients who have jumped at the chance to pummel them (including one female client, who was so excited at the chance of sparring with Plainer she sent him reeling with a punch below the belt).

No such cheap shots from Tulkinghorn. A ­former blue (after getting locked out one winter’s night), he and a posse of sorry-looking hacks were more than happy to get their hands taped and gloved up and get ready to rumble.

Suffice it to say that Tulkinghorn held his end – and his guard – up admirably. In fact the Jones Day crew said they were particularly impressed by the great man’s ability to bob, weave and dodge a punch (which primarily involved running away).

Sing for your supper

Baker & McKenzie showed off the considerable talents of some of its lawyers last week when it challenged Tulkinghorn to a karaokethon.

Now, in an age of Sing Star, Guitar Hero and Rock Band, it’s fair to say that Tulkinghorn had all but forgotten about the charms of standing in a sweaty box wrestling rivals for a microphone. Or ­beating competitors out of the way of the controller in an attempt to rack up three Sinatra classics in a row.

So thanks are due to the considerable talents of Bakers partners Tom ­Cassels (I am the ­Resurrection), John ­Evason (Teenage Dirtbag) and John Leadley (retired hurt), and guest diva Daniela Conte (Dancing Queen). After a couple of songs with this lot, it all came flooding back.

Who would have thought it was possible to recreate Glastonbury – mosh pit and all – in ­Spitalfields?