A place worth talking about

Tulkinghorn is amazed at the interest taken by the entire legal community in Clifford Chance‘s new building. When Grapevine, The Lawyer News Weekly email (straight to your inbox on Wednesdays with all the latest gossip, in case you didn’t know) asked for suggestions on how to fill Clifford Chance’s gigantic lobby, Tulkinghorrn’s colleagues were inundated with ideas. Here’s a cross-section of them:

The symbolic
“FT newsstand next to a vertical pole…
“A shoe shine stall”
“A giant treadmill”

Nutters in perspex
“David Blaine on permanent exhibition”
“A Clifford Chance partner in a glass box seeing how many days he can go without raising a bill – not many judging by your description of the offices.”

The surreal
“I suggest a gigantic tin ear. It seemed to work at the Tate Modern, and it has a certain… metaphorical piquancy.”

The practical
“Clifford Chance should create a car park for all those times when the DLR/Jubilee Line isn’t working!”

The weird
“In view of the general ‘karma’ and ‘alternative’ feel of the new offices, I think the expansive lobby area should be used as a permanent psychic fair”

The scarily detailed
“Surely to reflect the gamble of the law and with due deference to the firm’s name, a collection of gigantic slot machines could be installed.
“Then, while you’re waiting, you could feed in your own details, those of the judge, what he had for breakfast, the state of his private life, your astrological inexactitudes and the first estimate on costs (always remembering to use an appropriate multiplier) and see whether a row of cherries or raspberries is revealed.”

And the joint winners…
“A minigolf course. Easy, accessible, and fun to watch”
“A petting zoo would surely be the icing on the cake for that lot at Clifford Chance. I’m sure that it’s been proven somewhere that talking to animals reduces stress levels, and let’s face it, would be suitably new agey to fit in with their aromatherapy rooms. Anyway, wouldn’t it be lovely to see pinstripes sharing their woes with the penguins and the tigers?”