Know your calling

Irwin Mitchell appears to be in the throes of an identity crisis. Picking up the phone the other day, Tulkinghorn initially thought he had called the wrong number by mistake.

Instead of a helpful receptionist with a soothing Sheffield accent, his ear was attacked by one of those irritating recorded messages apologising for “all our lines being busy”. The message, in a plummy RP voice, went on to explain that “calls may be monitored or recorded to improve our service”, before switching back to annoying holding music.

Note to Irwin Mitchell: either you’re a law firm (by your figures, the 22nd largest in the UK) or you’re a claims-handling outfit. Please decide which applies.

If you decide to be a law firm, your declared profits are quite high enough to pay the salary of an extra receptionist so that you can act like one and avoid giving off the impression that you’re some sort of helpline.