Winners, every one of them

Fair play, honesty and integrity – the key ingredients of any good lawyer. Or so Tulkinghorn thought until he attended the Law Society Commerce and Industry (C&I) Group's summer ball at the Hanover Hotel in sunny Warrington. Well, it would combine an important evening of networking with a lovely little treat for Mrs Tulkinghorn.
As it turned out, she was quite disgusted with the blatant disregard of ethics that was displayed during the prize draw, at what was otherwise a very pleasant evening. More than 100 members and guests took part in the draw, but something sinister had clearly been happening behind the scenes beforehand.
First prize went to Edward Smethurst, who has twice chaired the C&I Group; second prize went to next year's chair Ann Page; third prize to Page's PA Christine Smith; and fourth prize went to – yes, you guessed it – to the current chair, Alvin Shuttleworth. Anti-competitive or what?
However, the so-called coincidence runs even deeper. Shuttleworth, a lifelong Manchester United fan, won two tickets to see the play Theatre of Dreams about, um, Busby's boys. Ann Page, whose partner is a lover of all things trains, won vouchers for the Northern Bell. Page, incidentally, also read out the names of the winners.
Mrs Tulkinghorn was not impressed at all – she quite fancied picking up third prize, a Hermes tie, to replace the Old Bromleians (Tulkinghorn's old football club, you know) tie that Tulkinghorn must confess is looking a little frayed and jaded after 15 years good service.
As it happens, Page won that herself, which didn't go down well at all, as I'm sure you can imagine.