What a load of plonkers

Some firms are right classy. Hammonds may have its own-brand beer, but Coudert goes for something an awful lot grander. Tulkinghorn can exclusively reveal that the firm (don’t call it Franco-American, or they’ll get upset) actually has its own wine. Château Coudert Saint-Émilion Grand Cru, to be precise. However, it seems that some Coudert partners consider it a bit ordinaire. “It’s undrinkable,” claims a mole. Rumours that the firm plans to offer secondments treading grapes are, of course, unfounded.