Tulkinghorn: Carrott and stick

Starr & Partners. If you don’t know this lot then let Tulkinghorn tell you that it’s a London-based commercial law firm.

It’s also home of employment lawyer Layla Bunni. Apparently it bugs Bunni when people rabbit on about her surname, which comes courtesy of her Iraqi father.

Bunni now has a new client. Deirdre Carrott. Tulkinghorn assures you he isn’t making this up.

Court Cresta

Is there something in the water at Taylor ­Wessing? Tulkinghorn learned the other day over lunch that the firm’s current chief Tim Eyles is a devotee of the Cresta Run. As in the lie-down-flat-with-your-nose-touching-the-ice-while-you- hurtle-along-at-40mph Cresta Run.

Eyles, you may recall, took over as managing partner from Michael Frawley earlier this year. This is the same Frawley who recently left half of his thumb in his fridge at home, having sliced it off in a freak cleaning accident.

And of course senior partner Martin Winter is well-known as a bit of a hot-shot. Surely these chaps deserve some danger money.

German ­sermon

There was general hilarity at Tulkinghorn Towers last week at the lengths ­German dairy company Müller appeared to go to in a desperate attempt to be seen as British. At least, that’s the only interpretation Tulkinghorn could put on the increasingly frantic missives from an internal aide to company secretary and legal director Florian Mattinson.

Specifically, the ­company, via the aide, seemed to think it ­paramount that any link to or mention of Germany was chopped from the text like a flaccid bratwurst.

“Florian would prefer not to make any reference to his German colleagues,” trilled the flunky. “If it’s imperative that you make reference, we may have to withdraw the article.”

Tulkinghorn’s friendly hack was far too polite to inform this person that it was not in Müller’s gift to withdraw anything from The Lawyer, other than perhaps a ­suspect fruit corner.

Still, in the interests of fostering overseas ­relations, yours truly decided to withdraw the umlaut. For one week only The Lawyer shall refer to the decidedly English dairy company as Muller.

Happy now?

Red, white and booze

Financial crisis? What financial ­crisis? According to one of Tulkinghorn’s many moles, the City appears to be returning to its high-spending habits, certainly if the evidence of a recent meal at one London restaurant is anything to go by.

Last week Neleen Strauss, founder of City restaurant High Timber, entertained a dinner party of four lawyers from a practice near to the restaurant, which is situated 100 yards from the St Paul’s side of the Millennium Bridge.

The lawyers decided to finish their meal with a bottle each of the world’s finest dessert wine, Chateau d’Yquem.

Unable to agree on which was the best ­vintage, they each chose a ­different year – 1989, 1990, 1995 and 1996 – priced between £400 and £800 apiece. They refused to share a drop with their colleagues.

Tulkinghorn wants to know who these people are.