This man needs help

Leslie Perrin (below). Now there's a man to conjure with: raffish, erudite, an ironic smile playing on his lips and with always a quip at the ready, Leslie is truly the Will Self of the West Country. Tulkinghorn has long been an admirer of The Lawyer's former celebrity columnist, recalling such gems as "The Law Society: Everything Must Go", "Our Houses Are Bigger Than Yours And Cost Half The Price", "Salary Wars? You're All Mugs" and "Magic Circle: Come And Have A Go If You Think You're Hard Enough".

But Tulkinghorn can report on a sinister transformation that has befallen this once radical bellelettriste. Perhaps the first clue was the choice of car. Not for him a Porsche Boxster, a Merc or an Aston Martin, oh no: Leslie drives a Volvo! "Listen to my Dido CD," he cries, trying to reposition his brand choice as merely an ironic nod at the complexities of bourgeois existence. But Tulkinghorn can reveal the most damning evidence by far: Leslie Perrin's slavish devotion to self-help tapes. For nestling on the floor of the car is "The One-Minute Manager: A Guide To Building A HighPerformance Team". Bless.