Tulkinghorn was recently amused to discover that some press officers are so important they have their own PRs.

One of his scribes rang the Lord Chancellor's Department press office the other day with a simple query and was greeted by somebody who politely refused to put the scribe through. “I need to ask you what your query is so I can direct you to the right press officer, you see,” the sub-press officer said.

The dep-uty assistant press officer then put the reporter on hold for a few minutes while putting the question to the really important press officer, and returned with an incredibly helpful “sor-ry, the press officer doesn't know”.

Tulkinghorn would kindly suggest that Derry Irvine replace these expensive robots with a simple recorded message stating “go away”. He might then be able to find a little more money in his budget for a new Commercial Court.