Softly softly spankee monkey

Oh the trials and tribulations of making equity. As if the general back-breaking workload and grovelling required to join the exalted few weren’t enough, it appears that the former Pinsents (pre mad merger with Masons) liked to put its high-rollers through a pre-equity pantomime.

The story comes from a lawyer now safely ensconced in a US firm, but once a starry-eyed Pinsents salaried partner. Said partner had been promised and then passed over for equity several times, and had therefore endured the annual series of humiliating conference calls with Pinsents managing partner Julian Tonks.

Apparently, partners were expected to provide a phone number where they could be contacted to receive the heartbreaking news. However, Tonks got a rude shock when, revved up to knock down yet another young hopeful, he dialled the number only to hear: “Hello, National Impotence Helpline Service.” The partner left soon after.