Remember Pet Shop Boys’ song “Go West”? For various historical reasons, it was an anthem where I grew up and developed as a person. Prior to the globalisation and the transition of Eastern Europe, Bulgaria was one of the most amicable places to grow up as a kid – children tended to be the centre of attention; education used to be excellent and free; one had plenty of loyal friends; family was and still is everything.
If a kid happened to be slightly “different”, however, they were imminently characterised as “artistic”. This wasn’t acceptable. Any sort of physical bullying or verbal abuse provoked by their “artistry” was conveniently swept under the carpet by parents and teachers. God forbid your child was “different” (followed by a knock under the table with the knuckles).
I realised I was “different” at the age of 25 (until then I must have been simply “artistic”). Naturally, this coincided with my move to the “West” in the pursuit of an adventure, international experience, because Bulgaria started to feel way too small for my ambitions, notwithstanding the promising career, loving family and countless friends. While I was regarded as well-travelled when I moved to London, I will never forget the constant adrenaline rush caused by the feeling of freedom and the colourful people who were not afraid to be their true selves (regardless of the context). In other words, I was “not in Kansas anymore”.
Thankfully, this feeling of freedom has not worn off.
Choosing a career in competition law has definitely helped me feel more free and accepting of myself. This is a practice area that tends to act as a magnet for open-mindedness, diversity, acceptance and globalism. Having said that, I firmly believe that the UK legal sector, while perceived by many as an emanation of conservatism and cultural uniformity, is actually one of the most colourful and diverse industries.
Of course, while many would say that more work can and should be done, and they are probably right, we should not forget to, first of all, highlight the achievements of the legal sector in this space. Second, we should express gratitude to each and every person that has transformed the industry into what it is today, whether through hard-core activism or through other (often less noticed) gestures of love, acceptance and unconditional support.
Ever since I started my career as a solicitor, being “different” and “artistic” has never been a taboo. To the contrary – I have embraced it. Needless to say that this transition from shame to confidence, to self-love, has been assisted by the organisations I have worked for; by the supportive and caring mentors; partners; and colleagues, who have all taught me that my “difference” should never make me feel any lesser.
Unfortunately, my life would have been very different should I have chosen my home country as a place to build my life and career. Most likely, and similarly to many other LGBTQ+ people there, I would have ended up being ashamed of who I was and treated by a significant proportion of society as a marginal. Furthermore, I would have had no legal rights to enter into a civil union, or marry, or inherit a same sex partner; or adopt or foster a child etc.
Sofia Pride is taking place this month. As it happens every year, this beautiful event (like many other LGBTQ+-themed events that have been taking place throughout May and June) is sabotaged in various ways by the homophobic ultra-right and groups fighting for “traditional family values”. The average person’s reaction entails criticism and strong annoyance at the Pride, and is usually followed by a statement along the lines of “There is nothing in the law precluding you from being who you are. People should not be demonstrating their sickness. Don’t be petty. Children are watching!”
Yet, in the year 2021, not a single political formation (left, right or centre) has ever expressed their support for the event, nor have they bothered to even mention LGBTQ+ rights in their political programmes. The legal sector has also gone AWOL. Young people (including some of my friends) are insufficiently engaged or fail to see the big picture by claiming that they are “cool” with their friend or child being “different” while this “coolness” is unfortunately not enough to provoke them to attend a LGBTQ+ event or to fight for their loved ones’ legal rights and recognition.
And while I have been lucky to have built my personal and professional life away from all this, with the support of my loving family, friends and colleagues, many people back home are still ashamed, unrecognised by the institutions or at the workplace, and forced to hide their “difference”. All this has made me realise that it is time for me and others, who have already finished the shame to confidence (and self-love) marathon, to wake up and help the less fortunate ones with their fight for rights and, most importantly, with their fight for pride.
One of the main things I have learned during my time here, in the UK, is how to be more accepting, more easy going and, most importantly, how to be myself and that being myself is just fine. Because being yourself is the greatest accomplishment and the sole condition for being proud.
Valeri Bozhikov is a managing associate at Addleshaw Goddard
