My first job: moron

Tulkinghorn recently introduced a new regular feature entitled 'My first job'. Unfortunately, it seems that some readers are getting the wrong end of the stick.
Tulkinghorn was delighted with the response rate of lawyers jamming the phone lines in their eagerness to become the subject of said new feature, but became rapidly less enthused as he pressed for details of their former careers. A typical response to the question “So, what was your first job?” was “Well, I was a lawyer, but at a different firm.” One caller even ventured that in a former life he had been a trainee. Just to be clear, being a lawyer just doesn't count. Circus freak, gimp, stunt man… that's the sort of thing we're after.