Stars of the unreasonably priced bar

Some say it was created in an underground lab by a spurned barrister armed with a test tube, a lock of Sydney Carton’s wig and a collection of Perry Mason DVDs.

Some say it’s a product of a collective hallucination that obsessed the denizens of Fleet Street at the end of the last millennium.

But all we know is that the enigma that is Matrix Chambers emerged victorious from the High Court yesterday after winning Ben Collins the right to reveal himself as the crash-test dummy employed by the BBC to drive repeatedly round a race track for the amusement of middle-aged men in tight jeans (aka The Stig).

Hugh Tomlinson QC and Laura Prince were the barristers given the honour of de-visoring the man in the white boiler suit and allowing him to release one of the most hotly anticipated autobiographies of the week.

Unfortunately, Clarke Willmott and Davenport Lyons, which acted for Collins and publisher HarperCollins respectively, did not extend their advice to further commercial matters.

Otherwise, Collins might have noticed that another shadowy figure was emerging from self-imposed exile to launch a book.
Still, at least this quashed all those rumours that Tony Blair has spent the last three years as Jeremy Clarkson’s lackey.