It was with a sinking heart that Tulkinghorn read the latest press release from Howrey & Simon last week. Not a deal, not a new partner, not a new office… Nothing like that at all, in fact. The firm has a new name and a new logo: it’s now called Howrey.

“It is,” says the guff, “the new name for the leading US law firm.” And apparently, according to the firm’s managing partner Bob Ruyak, “the new name better reflects the firm’s brand in today’s market.”

Not yesterday’s market, you note, for Howrey lives for the moment and thinks in the present. (Does that mean it’s not a forward-thinking firm?)

Tulkinghorn bravely made it to the end of the pap and had all but lost the will to breathe by the time he reached the final words: “Since 2000, Howrey has been known as Howrey Simon Arnold & White LLP. Prior to that, it was Howrey & Simon. The firm was originally called Howrey Simon Baker & Murchison, after its founders.”

“Oh God, can it get any worse?” he thought. Yes: “The firm has also adopted a new, single-colour logo, which uses a modern typeface. Howrey’s new official name, Howrey LLP, and new corporate identity were a result of a four-month development process guided by clearly defined strategic and branding objectives for the firm. The new logo was selected as a symbol that both reflects Howrey’s rich heritage and signals a new era of vibrancy and success.”

“How, exactly?” Tulkinghorn wonders.