It happens rarely, but Tulkinghorn was lost for words when faced with a recent message from Talbots Solicitors. So let’s just print the joyous lot in full (and Tulkinghorn promises he is not joshing): “Please find enclosed the following attachment for our latest press release. This will increase the readership of your publication as readers will be attracted to the contents. Please bear in mind that we will take a very favourable view with advertising with your publication if this article is published.”

Rest assured that the accompanying press release is even more bonkers than the message. Anyone curious enough to want to see it knows where to go. If only the same were true of Talbots.