Separated at birth

Tulkinghorn thinks of the television as that loud, colourful thing in the corner that helps him sleep. He is rarely able to interpret the talking blobs into the human faces that they represent, thanks to a heady cocktail of brandy and champagne.

Luckily, one of Tulkinghorn’s eager keyboard tappers watches the goggle-box and could barely contain his surprise when greeted with the sight of Russell Jones & Walker Birmingham managing partner Richard Langton advertising for rival personal injury firm InjuryLawyers4U.

Bizarrely, Langton seemed to be assuming the role of an East End hardman such as Johnny Allen. It was slightly unclear if Langton was going to break your legs or sue the person who did it. Either way, you better pay your bill – or else.