Tulkinghorn: A lesson from prehistory

Bristows may claim it isn’t an IP dinosaur, but the metrics don’t lie. Bristows – you are a diplodocus (as shown in Move on up, The Lawyer, 6 February):

The future’s not that bright


LawVest, complete with Hollywood actor hire George Hamilton (as seen elsewhere on this page) may be the all-singing, all-dancing future, but it doesn’t get everything right.

The other day, while snooping around the firm’s Thames-side offices – well, having a meeting with its gung-ho principals Karl Chapman and Adam Shutkever – one of Tulkinghorn’s spies spotted a howler on a Powerpoint slide: ‘floatation’.

They may be commercial, but that doesn’t mean they can spell.


Diversity challenge


Oh dear, oh dear. The following genuine comment, overheard at The Lawyer’s recent Workplace & Diversity Awards ceremony, really does miss the point.

“I love diversity,” said one visibly tired and emotional, yet strangely excited, chap. “I can’t wait to get back to my hotel – I’ve got two South African lesbians waiting for me.”


Call of the wild


Tulkinghorn’s partner of the week – an occasional new feature for this page – is Pollyanna Deane of Simmons & Simmons.

Deane, a corporate insurance lawyer who joined the firm from BLP last month, has leopard-print chairs in her office. Or rather, she would have if they’d fit. Sadly, they don’t, which means they currently reside outside her office, adding an exciting touch to the corridor and immeasurably brightening up the otherwise dowdy and downtrodden ambience (just kidding).

Good to see someone making their leopard-print mark on a firm. This sort of thing needs to be encouraged.

Store thing


Back once more to the Rolls Building, where another of Tulkinghorn’s spies spotted something that added yet another chapter to the ever-expanding tome detailing the flashy courts’ failings.

Nestling on a shelf was a high-concept unit bearing the legend ‘Secure Data Management – a new concept in document storage’.

The ‘new concept’? A box. Although, in fairness, it did have a lid.