Shaken but not stirred

Those who have been there will know that lap dancing in London has nothing on the shenanigans of Mipim… but as for those who frequented the Spearmint Rhinos of Cannes, that would be telling.
As ever, there was an awful lot of lawyers chasing after the punters. CMS Cameron McKenna seemed to do particularly well with its James Bond themed nights on board the Star of Kaitos. So well, in fact, that prospective guests had to wait on the quayside as the Camerons marketing folk enforced a strict one-in one-out policy. Anyone would think it was the Ministry of Sound.
The plentiful supply of martinis, shaken not stirred, and the lure of the on-board casino no doubt helped, but one more sceptical partner from a rival firm said he decided to crash the party after spying a rather alluring lady on board… in a see-through dress. Could this be Camerons' latest marketing tool?
Partner Charles Romney would no doubt put the success down to the host's Pierce Brosnan-style charm and black-tie dress code. But Tulkinghorn fears they may have taken the Bond theme a little too far. After a dinner out in the hills one night, Romney became embroiled in a fight that would raise even 007's heart rate. Someone, it emerged, had ordered a taxi when there was no need, because cars had already been booked by Camerons. But the unwanted taxi driver was not about to lose out on his fare without a fight.
After much use of French expletives that even Tulkinghorn's pen pal couldn't teach him, battle ensued as the angry taxi driver manouvered his car to block Romney's escape. Romney and his getaway driver resigned themselves to sitting out the enemy and when his back was turned for a split second Romney and pal spotted a gap. They had to go offroad. The engine roared, the tyres screeched and they were away, leaving the enemy in a cloud of dust. But their bravado quickly waned and they decided to take the long back route down to Cannes. Surely 007 wouldn't have done that?