Simon Lipson was born in 1958 in Stoke Newington. He is a solicitor and managing director of legal recruitment company Lipson Lloyd-Jones. He is also a stand-up comedian, whose new series of the Radio 5 show, Interesting… Very Interesting begins on 24 May. What subject(s) did you fail at school?
Cross-country running – a stupid way to waste an afternoon.
What was your first job?
Delivery boy for a food company.
What was your first ever salary as a lawyer?
u3,500 pa, back in the Dark Ages.
What would you have done if you hadn't been a lawyer?
A professional tennis player. If it wasn't for my dodgy knees, lack of application and no talent, I may have been a contender.
What was your most satisfying professional moment?
Advising the young, unknown, Damon Hill on career matters. Just look at him now. And has he thanked me?
What was your most embarrassing professional moment?
As a young lawyer, my briefcase flew open as I was leaving a crusty old Master's office, scattering The Daily Mirror, about 30 chewing gum wrappers, hair gel, some old socks and a box of toothpicks all over the floor. Luckily, it didn't wake him up.
What do you least like about being a lawyer?
And the best thing about being a lawyer?
Being smug at parties. But I was young then.
What annoys you most about clients?
Win a case, and your fees are too high; lose it and you were a complete idiot – and your fees were too high.
Who do you most admire, and why?
David Ginola. He's an absolute genius and he's gorgeous. I have to say I am straight, but he transcends all boundaries.
Which famous person or historical figure would be your ideal client, and why?
David Ginola. I'm sad, but at least I know it.
What is your most annoying habit?
Wasting money in Dixons on yet another useless gadget.
What's your biggest fear?
Losing my hair has haunted me for 22 years.
How do you relax?
Watching Spurs. If we're 5-0 up with a minute to go, I can usually really enjoy it. Two minutes to go… it's still a bit dodgy.
What is your most precious possession?
If they can be called possessions, my wife and two wondrous and adorable little girls. And this little gadget I bought in Dixons last week…
Where would you most like to be right now?
a) Skiing anywhere b) standing wedged among 50,000 other sweaty, screaming yobs watching Spurs parade the European Cup down Tottenham High Road.
Where do you see yourself in 10 years' time?
Standing on my own again in Tottenham High Road.
To take part in the Inquiry call Jemma Pearson on 0171 970 4614