Tulkinghorn: Denton put on hold

Is SNR Denton really the one big happily merged family that its lawyers and PR people would have you believe? ­Tulkinghorn suspects not.

One of the great man’s spies recently discovered that the newly minted global behemoth had taken delivery of a glut of new Windows 7 phones.

Well, to be more accurate, the shiny kit has been rolled out in the US but is yet to reach the UK, where presumably they still have to make do with string and paper cups.

Sadly, when Tulkinghorn’s underling called, no one at the firm was available to comment on this apparent oversight.

The appropriate IT geek was “overseas” – presumably sans a phone that can make international calls.

Coming on the back of last week’s news that the firm’s lawyers may need to buy their own laptops to get onto a new remote access system, things all look a bit haywire.

Sassenach attack

The relationship between the English and Scottish has never been the same since Mary Queen of Scots tried to usurp her English cousin. You may recall the displeased ­Elizabeth had Mary’s head removed.

But the march towards European integration has surely encouraged such rational, pragmatic individuals as lawyers to put the past behind them.
Apparently not.

In a press release sent by Semple Fraser to The Lawyer, the Scottish-headquartered firm describes itself as “leading multinational law firm Semple Fraser”.
That’s the multiple nations of Scotland and, er… England, and… well, that’s about it actually.

Tulkinghorn wonders whether this is pure bombast or does it reflect a deeper-set attitude towards union? The answer could be found in the following part of the release: “[The firm] has already had to move to larger offices, less than 12 months on from opening its first UK office in Manchester.”

First UK office? So current bases in Edinburgh and Glasgow aren’t part of the UK? The spirit of Mary lives on.

France for the memories

A senior clerk at a top ­London set recently ­underlined his client care skills by laying on ­breakfast at the Savoy ­followed by a first-class trip on Eurostar in time for lunch in Paris.

Full disclosure: the ­celebrations were laid
on for his wife and three friends to mark the first anniversary of his ­wedding. Classy.

Set questions

The Lawyer’s sister magazine Lawyer 2B is on the hunt for frequently asked questions by snotty students still hoping for that elusive career in the law.

Here’s a few already in, complete with the short, snappy – and frankly ­pretty accurate – answers from a member of one top London set’s pupillage committee:
Q: “What’s a mini-­pupillage and when and how should I apply for one?”
A: “Google it.”
Q: “I’ve been ­trying to secure a pupillage for ­nearly four years now and despite having a degree from a top university and a BVC from a leading law school I keep getting rejected. Is it time to give up?”
A: “Yes.”
Q: “My first-year results at university were not as good as I had hoped. Will that hinder me when applying for pupillages?”
A: “Yes.”
There’s a lesson to be learnt here.

Crock a dial

Modern ­technology has reached Manchester.

Or to be more accurate, 150-year-old Manc firm Croftons.

“Croftons have launched an iPhone app to help claimants collect accurate information after an ­accident at work or on the road,” bleated last week’s press release, sent via the increasingly antiquated email ­communications method.

“The highly interactive ’Accident App’ is designed to improve evidence-­gathering and provide easy access to experienced ­personal injury lawyers.”

Yes, the first thing you think of when you’ve tripped over a paving stone or had a bump on the road is: “Where’s my iPhone? I’d better call Croftons.”

Tulkinghorn can’t wait for the avalanche of crock pics.