Tulkinghorn has to apologise for a case of mistaken identity.

In his column of October 8, it was mistakenly reported that in addition to having one of the longest job titles in living memory, Marks & Spencer group secretary, head of corporate governance and chief legal adviser Graham Oakley had attempted to use his industry contacts to wangle a good deal on the latest superbike. This was wrong.

Oakley does not have a bike, does not want a bike and, as far as I am aware, has never had a bike. He may have ridden one, many years ago, but Tulkinghorn is not so sure. Tulkinghorn understands that enormous ribbing has resulted and apologises wholeheartedly for any embarrassment caused.

It seems that Tulkinghorn may have mistaken Oakley for head of legal Robert Ivens, who apparently is an “avid biker” and reports to Oakley.

Tulkinghorn blames the helmet and his fading eyesight.