Tulkinghorn hears that some fragile souls at Clifford Chance are still reeling from an incident that involved a bit too much of the old global reaching. There they were idly bantering by the window, when one of them looked out and nearly dropped his coffee.

Clearly visible in Barts Hospital was a couple going at it like the clappers. “The thing was,” a shocked lawyer told Tulkinghorn, “the bloke obviously wasn't much good at it. She kept getting uncomfortable. It lasted for absolutely ages. We all felt a bit ill.”

Tulkinghorn can only conclude that this puts an entirely new spin on the idea of full service.