Tulkinghorn: Why are Pinsents lawyers portly?

Tulkinghorn offers his most sincere congratulations – which he usually reserves for when his most influential friends announce news of their firstborn, or when one of his scribes manages to make it into the office in the morning without reeking of gin and self-loathing – to Pinsent Masons chef Matt Petit, who made it through to the semi-finals of MasterChef: The Professionals in December 2011.

No one can accuse Pinsents’ chef  of being a muppet
No one can accuse Pinsents’ chef of being a muppet

Petit’s strawberry bavarois with champagne jelly, vanilla ice-cream and shortbread looked delicious and is on the BBC’s website for anyone who fancies giving it a go. Doesn’t sound too hard, does it?

Chow down

Tulkinghorn has always been a fan of Christmas, believe it or not, but having never stepped foot outside of Blighty he is unfamiliar with the traditions in the former colonies.

These include some big party or other that takes place each November in the US. According to one of his moles, it might be a good thing that the great man is not on eating terms with this big pig-out. Because word is that Simpson Thacher’s London office ran out of food during its Thanksgiving meal because too many non-Americans turned up for it last year.

Dear oh dear, what a turkey.

CC chopped and fried

The Clifford Chance Hanukkah party is usually one of the finest affairs in town, and this year’s do to celebrate the Jewish festival of lights was as fine as ever.

But the question on everyone’s mind was, why weren’t more legal ­eagles there to enjoy the delicacies?

The rumour going round was that it was a little on the thin side (the crowd, not the food, and nor the stomachs after that salt beef). Yet the gripe was the lack of big-­hitters.

Tulkinghorn noticed the presence of banking head Mark Campbell, but was rather glum at not seeing more bigwigs there, and even overheard one attendee on the Tube (don’t ask – the brougham was at the blacksmiths) bemoaning the lack of rainmakers.

Surely there was no boycott? Stream of atheism keeping top partners away? Or just a dislike of fried potato swimming in oil?

Paper jam

It’s now well-known that the Rolls Building, built to bring the High Court into the 21st century, is littered with design faults. These include lipless lecterns that cause those using them to lose their papers and watch as they scatter.

But what is less well-known is the frankly genius solution devised by one silk who found himself paper-grabbing recently.

“He Sellotaped a few Biros to the lectern,” reveals a source. “That did the trick.”