Fizzy and buzzy makes it all go fuzzy

There are few sights in the City quite so glorious as seeing Freshfields corporate boss Tim Jones holding court.

The rugby-playing M&A supremo – the personification of the ‘work hard, play hard’ ethos – was recently spied in a bar by one of Tulkinghorn’s scribes regaling a number of friends and colleagues with his particular take on life.

In fact, Jones was delighted there was a hack present because he was ultra-keen to put something on the record. As such, Tulkinghorn is happy to oblige and report that, according to Jones, “Fizz Buzz is the ultimate indicator of a person’s intellectual capability”.

“Fizz what?” Tulkinghorn hears you cry. Well, in case you weren’t aware, this is a drinking game. One begins to count (one, two, three etc) and every time the value five or a
multiple thereof is reached the player substitutes it for
the word ‘fizz’. Ditto with the number seven, only this time
the substituted exclamatory remark is ‘buzz’.

In time-honoured fashion, when you get it wrong you drink a finger.

In short order two things became abundantly clear: Jones had played before and several of his gang hadn’t.

“Just say ‘buzz’!” the exasperated Freshfields corporate
head was heard to cry.

Still, honour for the denizens of these pages was upheld when Tulkinghorn’s hack found herself on 49 and yelled: “Buzz squared.”
“You’ve restored my faith in the Fourth Estate,” was Jones’s
gracious response.
Frankly, Tulkinghorn is astounded that the assembled masses made it as high as 49.