Tulkinghorn: Football focused

While many commentators think the forthcoming ­general election is likely to stymie business at law firms, everyone knows that the real danger to deal flow comes later in the summer when the population of the City flees their desks to crowd round TVs in Corney & Barrow and watch ­England’s latest glorious World Cup failure.

To get into the mood for South Africa, the legal ­fraternity is coming together on 27 May to fight it out for its own version of the title – the Legal 6-a-side World Cup.

Competition is expected to be fierce, with teams from White & Case, CMS Cameron McKenna and Edwin Coe among others already lining up. Places are still available and ­anyone interested in taking on the Lionel Messis of the legal world should contact organiser Andrew White at The London Soccerdome on awhite@thelondonsoccerdome.com.

With all cash raised going to The British Forces Foundation, it will also be money well spent.

Retired and emotional

Tulkinghorn well ­remembers the days when he used to ­contemplate early retirement. That was before a series of ­misguided South American ­investments forced him into a life of hunkering in City hostelries on the hunt for gossip.

So it was with an envious sigh that he heard of the decision by Freshfields’ ­epicurean ­senior ­partner Konstantin Mettenheimer to stand down from the stresses of management.

While Mettenheimer says he will continue fee-earning, Tulkinghorn’s spy felt that the great man may have already started ­enjoying the good life. Phoning in from his ­country retreat, possibly deep in the heart of the Black ­Forest, his soft ­teutonic tones were almost drowned out by the ecstatic sounds of birds chirruping away to greet the coming spring.

Et in Arcadia ego, as Tulkinghorn used to say.

Trash in the attic

The folks over at Lovells have had a clear-out in the run-up to the firm’s ­merger with Hogan & Hartson. We all know that moving in with someone new means losing some of those old mementos.

That’s presumably why Tulkinghorn received a parcel from the firm stuffed full of Lovells-branded memorabilia, enough to make collectors of ex-law firm merchandise go weak at the knees. (Lawyers are an odd bunch but still, one prays no such collector exists.)

Among the haul was an umbrella, some mugs, a T-shirt (that would ­barely fit a doll) and some nifty highlighter pens. There was even talk of Lovells-branded condoms being included in the package but they failed to ­materialise. ­Tulkinghorn can’t say he’s disappointed.

It was sad going through the old bits and bobs, each one laden with a memory. Many brought a tear to the to eye merely from the smell alone.

But Lovells can be assured that the antiques have found a safe home at Tulkinghorn Towers.

If not, then someone else’s home might do – you can sell anything on eBay these days.

Relative ­values

Aegis Media GC Simon Zinger is clearly a popular figure among ­colleagues.

Following his in-house interview two weeks ago, co-workers were quick to leave ­comments on The Lawyer’s ­website in praise of ’The Rock of Aegis’. But it was the first comment that caught Tulkinghorn’s eye.

“We’re very proud of our son,” beamed Zinger’s ­parents – proof that no matter how important (or old) you get, your folks will always have that ­ability to leave you red-cheeked.

“My mother couldn’t help herself,” winced Zinger, “I feel like I’m 12 years old again.”