Next week's news

New Zealand's parliament will debate on giving great apes basic human rights under new legislation.

Under the Animal Welfare Bill, the apes would have fundamental rights, including the right to life, the right not to suffer cruelty, and the right to be selected for the All Blacks.

Lawyers who find such sentiments absurd may like to note that similar scoffing occurred when New Zealand was the first country in the world to give women – also descendants of the ape – the right to vote.