As if it wasn’t the best game on Earth anyway, it seems cricket might be the way to the hearts of Indian lawyers still resisting opening up the country’s legal system to foreign firms.
Ever since the English colonialists brought tea and cricket to the subcontinent, the Indians have been doing it better. But Tulkinghorn is proud to present here his City Law XI. Ashes 2009, here we come.
1 Nigel Knowles, joint chief executive, DLA Piper. A biffer and a basher to open the innings, he holds no fear. With 63 offices across the globe, is not afraid of a bit of running between wickets.
2 Tony Angel, managing partner, Linklaters. A last hurrah before he disappears into a comfortable retirement. Famous for past victories, are the wheels starting to fall off his team?
3 Robert MacGregor, head of real estate, Berwin Leighton Paisner. In the Ian Bell mould, fleet of foot, perfect in the short-leg position and a tenacious accumulator.
4 Keith Schilling, name partner at Schillings. More at home rubbing shoulders with the glitterati than facing spin bowling, Schilling is a perfect fit in the Kevin Pietersen role.
5 Jeff Barratt, global head of projects, Norton Rose. Used to extinguishing fires and batting collapses. May be the only player in the team who can actually play, having previously turned out for Middlesex.
6 Nigel Boardman, corporate partner, Slaughter and May. The all-rounder. Perfect to either smash a few runs or send down a few overs of medium pace. May confuse cricket with football and is in danger of rolling an ankle at a crucial moment.
7 David Gold, managing partner, Herbert Smith. Wicketkeeper. Famous for his witty barbs and tutting, who better to have sledging away behind the stumps than a litigator? On the cusp of the magic circle for a long time, finally given his chance he may shine.
8 Adam Signy, private equity partner, Clifford Chance. The firm’s highest earner and a real workhorse. Used to the midnight hours, so the perfect night watchman.
9 Campbell McIlroy, PR manager, Allen & Overy (A&O). The spin doctor – and he’s a Kiwi too, so he may have some ability.
10 John Young, managing partner, Lovells. He’s tall so should be able to bowl fast. Has finally sorted out his lockstep run-up.
11 Guy Morton, senior partner, Freshfields. Excellent record at home, but seems a bit wide of the mark internationally. Has a beard to match Monty too.
12th man and coach Tulkinghorn, of course.