Holiday reps

Tulkinghorn has often wondered what goes on within law firms during the quiet Christmas period.

With no partners to pamper, staff must find the boredom simply stifling.

Tulkinghorn, though, got his answer last month. Strolling past the office of a particular top 10 firm, what should he see but a security guard having a muckabout in the gym.

No doubt the poor chap is banned from enjoying the firm’s amenities when the lawyers are around, so he thought he would get his money’s worth while his employers were off skiing or sitting on a beach.

If the guard had any sense he would also have changed all the weights on the fancy machines to the heaviest settings as a surprise for all the returning attorneys. After all, the lawyers are bound to have plenty of post-Christmas flab to work off.