In the drink

A benevolent God smiled on residents of the Solent in need of a lawyer over the weekend, providing them with 64 yachts absolutely stuffed to the gills with partners, associates and secretaries.

It was the face of Louis Manches that launched the ships, with the Manches Cup being the prize. Tulkinghorn imagines an immense army of lawyers descending on the Solent for the weekend and laying siege to its pubs.

And that’s exactly what happened. A lack of wind stopped the regatta in its tracks, cancelling the second race and giving pub owners in the Solent enough revenue to retire on as participants drowned their sorrows.

Once the regatta got going again, the Freshfields boat fought hard for victory and the team was rewarded with the championship trophy. Followed by more drinking, as Manches laid on a fancy dress party for the 600 sailing lawyers.

A spokesperson told one of Tulkinghorn’s moles: “The theme was Caribbean Beach Party – picture Rastafarian wigs, hoola girls and boys and lots of Hawaiian print shirts. Linklaters‘ participants dressed as Father Christmas – apparently because it’s always Christmas in the Caribbean. I don’t get it.”

Tulkinghorn gets it. The Linklaters sailors had the costumes left over from December and couldn’t be bothered to get new gear.