I'm leaving, you stupid cow

Tulkinghorn, normally a mild-mannered chap, was horrified to hear that top City firm Lovells has bought a cow, installed it in its office garden, and then moved offices, leaving the hapless cow behind.
Tulkinghorn immediately instructed one of his young scribes to call Lovells' press office to get to the bottom of the story. A Lovells PR officer was quick to point out that the cow is in fact a life-sized sculpture and not a real cow at all.
Lovells is one of the sponsors of 'Cow Parade', which gets artists to decorate cows (Lovells' is called 'City Cow') and then asks businesses to place them outside their offices. The cows are then auctioned off for charity.
“We don't have gardens at our new offices,” explained the PR officer when asked why the cow had been abandoned in the move. But even journalists know that fibreglass cows don't need to eat grass.
Lovells has not had much luck with the sleek, modern artwork chosen for its new offices. As revealed by Tulkinghorn last week, the enormous Angela Connor steel sculpture chosen for the atrium was too big and had to have 20 feet trimmed off the top. Why did Lovells go to all that trouble? Not to mention the risk of significantly devaluing the original artwork. That poor abandoned novelty cow would have fitted in there nicely.