Talk to a managing partner about diversity and you’re pretty much guaranteed to get 20 interupted, breathless minutes of politically correct, cliché-laden claptrap.

And Tulkinghorn Towers has been overwhelmed in recent weeks with firms eager to publicise their diversity statistics in The Lawyer‘s forthcoming Careers Report.

So Tulkinghorn was more than a little taken aback to hear one managing partner report: “Diversity encompasses many different issues. Sexual identity is a little racy, because frankly how many gays is a firm meant to have? What’s the quota on this kind of thing? And what do I do if I don’t have enough gays? Where do I recruit?”

Tulkinghorn prefers to leave those questions as rhetorical. They are unanswerable (although you might want to try Old Compton Street on a Friday night).