French diss

Thanks to Clintons for inviting Tulkinghorn down to the tenth annual HMV football extravaganza at the Grosvenor House Hotel last Tuesday (29 March).

The event, which featured well-known sports liggers Mayer Brown Rowe & Maw as one of the sponsors, raised more than £600,000 for the Nordoff-Robbins Music Therapy charity.

The occasion was also marked by the induction of Sir Alex ‘The Hairdryer’ Ferguson into the event’s very own Hall of Fame. Consequently, the top table was peopled by a veritable red army of golden oldie greats. They were all there – Bryan Robson, Mark Hughes, Peter Schmeichel – and all were called upon throughout the evening to say a few generous words about the shy Scot. But there was only one man that could bring the crowd to its feet. The Gallic form of Eric Cantona, heavy of tread and long of hair, took the stage. Silent throughout the evening, he eventually opened his mouth at the end to share some more of his mystical wisdom (remember the trawler?) with the wide-eyed crowd: “I have been lucky enough in my career to work with and play for some incredible managers. Michel Platini… Franz Beckenbauer… Henri Michel – he was a bag of shit.” Thanks Eric.