Excuses, excuses

Tulkinghorn is not the only person to have subliminally assimilated gangster parlance into daily life.
Prosecution barrister Mark Hollier found that his artless ingénue impression did not go down well with recorder Michael de Navarro QC. In a quite brilliant piece of legal foolishness, Hollier explained that the judge could not sentence his client because his cat had been sick on the paperwork.
Actually, Tulkinghorn is exaggerating, but cannot help thinking that such an excuse would have been better than jokingly telling a judge that you were a bureaucrat in a former incarnation, which rates just above “my bag exploded, Miss”. The judge, clearly having been schooled by a New York hardman, was not a happy chap. 'The daddy' de Navarro thundered that if the necessary documents were not ready by the next hearing, he would “kick some ass”. Woah, boy. Tulkinghorn looks forward to the day when “eat s**t and die, mother f***er” also enters the legal lexicon.