Caught on the hop

Hammonds marketing honcho Simon Bailey was having a little difficulty with his voicemail message the other day when Tulkinghorn rang for a chat. “Hello, this is Simon Bailey,” the message went. “I'm working in London today, or you can get me on my mobile on…” at which point the tannoy in the airport blared: “WILL ALL PASSENGERS WAITING FOR THE FLIGHT TO ALICANTE PLEASE BOARD NOW.”

After playing the voicemail several times for comedy value, Tulkinghorn called Simon to find out whether he was on a secret mission to Hammonds' new Spanish office. “Oh God,” he said, “could you hear me cussing? I was trying to re-record the message and kept swearing at the phone.” Though Tulkinghorn finds it hard to believe that anyone from Hammonds uses expletives.

More examples of unfortunate voicemail messages gratefully received.