Box clever

Is this what really happens to lawyers’ offspring? Not even a man of Tulkinghorn’s age was actually shocked by the news of the latest celebrity sex video to be ‘leaked’ to the public, which featured ‘Ray J’, an aspiring rapper, and Kim Kardashian, daughter of Robert Kardashian, the Los Angeles lawyer famed for his role representing OJ Simpson in the American football-star-turned-actor’s 1994 trial for murder.

Strangely not a qualified lawyer herself, Kardashian junior makes her living as a professional stylist and friend of Paris Hilton. She is said to be so shocked by the news of the ‘illicit’ tape hitting the streets that she could hardly cash the $5m (£2.46m) cheque she is alleged to have wrung out of a pornographic DVD publisher.

At risk of exposing his Victorian roots, Tulkinghorn fears that, although Kardashian senior died in 2003, his slack approach to parental discipline/moral guidance hitherto must surely have contributed to his daughter’s penchant for paparazzi, bling and all things footballer’s wifey. He must have let them get away with murder…