Bellies de jour

LG took an unusual line with its keenly anticipated press party this year, ­inviting participants to vote on it having either an Arab, an Indian or a Mardi Gras theme.

Tulkinghorn naturally dispatched one of his ­minions to the event, expecting a few curried canapes washed down with a bottle of Cobra in some corporate dining room. It was much to his delight to discover an arabesque ­sensory experience, replete with revellers spilling out onto the patio, basking in the balmy evening sun.

Dancing among the smoke and the heat were two young ladies gyrating their stomachs in unison and doing their best to entice partners with their not inconsiderable charms.

Alas, managing partner Hugh Maule was in no mood to succumb.
His hips were not going to be moved, his shoulders were staying firmly fixed in one place, while he began ­desperately searching for something that was not jiggling upon which he could fix his embarrassed gaze.