It's that time of year again, when you hear from people of whom you have absolutely no recollection and who have signed their name so illegibly that any chance of recollection is impossible. Tulkinghorn was delighted to hear from 'Aruba' and 'Mmmmony', and hopes that they will be in touch again soon. Christmas also seems to point out to lawyers the funny side of what they do (woefully lacking for the rest of the year). Thus, Tulkinghorn has this week received two 'legal'-style Christmas cards. The first, from Newcastle firm Robert Muckle, has emblazoned on the front with Santa: "Have a merry Christmas and a happy New Year". Then, on the inside: "The word 'have' in no way constitutes in law any likelihood that the recipient will or will not be in receipt of the aforesaid 'merry Christmas and a happy New Year'. Any claim of a 'Christmas and New Year' above and beyond the average measure of what could be expected under normal circumstances to be a standard 'Christmas and New Year' would constitute a 'wish', and therefore we, as bearer of the aforesaid 'wish', could not be held accountable should the festive period not prove to be 'merry' nor 'happy'. Contrary to section 3 of the offences against Christmas act 1874."