Week Six: The Apprentice analysed…

There’s a rumour going round that Ben Clarke was offered a scholarship to Sandhurst. After this week’s episode, it’s hard to see what more any military academy could teach him about dodging bullets.

Alan Nicholson, senior associate, McGrigors

Unfriendly fire
There’s a rumour going round that Ben Clarke was offered a scholarship to Sandhurst. After this week’s episode, it’s hard to see what more any military academy could teach him about dodging bullets.

Last week, Sir Alan cautioned the teams against excessive bickering. This week, that message was definitely taken on board, before being placed in a bin bag, weighed down with bricks, and thrown overboard. Phil resumed his spat-athon with Lorraine, to the point where Sir Alan had to offer her some counselling. “Don’t get intimidated Lorraine,” he said, before going on to intimidate Philip, Ben and Debra.

Being intimidated and bullied at work is not in itself the basis for a claim in employment law, but evidence of it can substantiate a complaint of unlawful discrimination, harassment or constructive dismissal. Lorraine shows no signs of quitting though, and will keep going until Sir Alan decides that we’ve had enough car crash telly for another year and it’s time to hire Kate.

Oh yes, Noorul. In a throw away remark that could revolutionise recruitment practice across the country, Sir Alan suggested that “whoever employs him better get a receipt.” Let’s hope Ben kept the receipt for that scholarship…

Adam Landy, employment associate, Stevens & Bolton

Why Do Only Fools And Apprentices Work?
It seems Sir Alan’s after more of a Lovejoy than a Del Boy this year, hiding some treasures within the tat which the teams had to shift this week.

Sandhurst-scholarship-shunning Ben led Empire’s troops into battle, claiming that where there’s “heavy gunfire, explosions are going off and people are getting injured” he’s a natural leader. Cut to Ben serving in action – “Get me a yellow pages”.

Ben bit off more than even his big mouth could chew though, taking seven of the 10 items with his half of the team, leaving only three to the others. In these turbulent economic times lawyers are also increasingly guilty of work-hogging and failing to delegate for fear of not hitting targets and hearing the dreaded ‘R word’.

Meanwhile, Phil took the lead for Ignite but ended up being the ‘Rodney’ to Lorraine’s ‘Cassandra’, failing to heed her wise words about a valuable rug. Ultimately, however, they triumphed, posting less of a loss than Ben’s Empire.

Despite saying more in the Boardroom showdown than he had all series (and not before time) it was master of the silent treatment Noorul that was sent packing. What a plonker.

Juliette Franklin, employment associate, Russell Jones & Walker

Cassandra? More like Del Boy?!
Another surreal night on the Apprentice.

A chill ran through me when I heard that Ben ‘will you let me finish’ was the new PM. Fortunately Britain has not taken leave of its senses.
Last night the candidates had to sell a skeleton. (Where did Suralan get them from? Is that what happens to the Apprentice rejects?) The taxi ride home takes on a whole new sinister meaning.

Class and Northern discrimination issues struck again. Philip was shamefully harangued but left without remedy for allegedly speaking incomprehensibly because he rhymes “book” with “Luke”. It’s not as if he said “Eeeh man, ahm gannin te the booza” by way of explaining the masterstroke of going to the pub to sell a skeleton. Like all truly great innovations, once suggested you wondered why no-one had thought of it before.

Suralan thinks that anyone who employs Nooral should get a receipt. Could this be the new employer’s reference with a 28 day return guarantee?

Debra may have survived the sacking – in the face of such gross insubordination to Nick, how did she survive?