Tulkinghorn

Tulkinghorn is not a fan of Valentine’s Day and neither, it seems, is the Law Society.


TulkinghornHearts and binds

Tulkinghorn is not a fan of Valentine’s Day and neither, it seems, is the Law Society.

Tulkinghorn received a missive from the Soc just before Valentine’s Day with the header: “Love with your heart, think with your head”. The release warned against not seeking proper legal advice before proposing on the most romantic day of the year.

There were some wonderful killjoy quotes: “An engagement ring is an irrevocable gift, which cannot legally be claimed back unless at the outset it was given conditional upon the marriage taking place. So if the relationship goes wrong don’t expect it back, unless your partner wants to return it.” Then the impulsive and romantic: “If you set up a joint account, be aware if you can both pay in money, you can both take it out! Consider making it necessary to have both signatures on cheques.”

All of this is good advice if you plan to marry an international jewel thief. Can you feel the love?

Not on the landscape

Not many words are as important as ‘not’, ­especially when it is used in this sentence: “We’re going to move away from our trade unions, they’re part of our core values.” (The Lawyer, 2 February.)
That quote was from Simpson Millar managing partner Peter Watson. Except we forgot the ‘not’. The quote should have read: “We’re not going to move away from our trade unions…” ‘Not’ not being there quite rightly ­perturbed Peter, who counts the Commercial Workers Union as a client.
Which lends ­Tulkinghorn to remind The Lawyer of an old proverb: “He who knows not and knows not he knows not: he is a fool – shun him.”

Clown ­persecution

While you are reading this, it’s quite likely ­Clifford Chance managing partner David Childs is wading through a sea of clowns trying to stop his tie from being cut off. No, it’s not an ­emergency meeting with ­London associates.

Childs is in Cologne to visit CC’s office in ­neighbouring Düsseldorf on the day of the Cologne carnival.

Tulkinghorn is informed that one of the central ­traditions of the carnival is for revellers to cut off the tie of anyone foolish enough to wear a suit.

So if you’re having a meeting with David today, expect him to be wearing half a very expensive silk tie and an angry scowl.

Spell bound

In the current market, any job ad is a good job ad. Except the one posted on a website by ­Manchester’s Stripes Solicitors.

The firm is looking for a “leagl secretarie (sic) fir (sic) City centre firm”. ­Presumably proof-reading and typing skills are much-needed at the firm.

The ad also makes it clear that “experience of either commercial ­property or industrial ­disease or ­personal injury is ­essential”. If you don’t have experience of personal injury, a partner is on hand to run you over in their car.

Whoever does get the post at Stripes should be careful not to get too sic (sic) working at the firm.

An enterprising law firm

Things are done differently at healthcare firm Capsticks. As you can probably tell from the picture, senior partner Peter Edwards is such a big fan of Star Trek that he makes his lawyers dress up in ­costumes from the science fiction show.

“Personally, I find training and racing a great stress-buster to get rid of the pressure of my job,” says Edwards, captain of the Starship Capsticks.

Currently Edwards is negotiating a peace treaty between warring Klingon and Romulan factions in the Gamma Quadrant. If that’s not pressure, then Tulkinghorn doesn’t know what is.