Tulkinghorn: Yacht a performance

If you’re still scratching your head thinking of how to spend your summer then perhaps you could take a leaf out of the mariner’s book owned by one Cumbrian lawyer.

News reached ­Tulkinghorn recently of the incident-packed ­voyage successfully ­completed by Boyd Holmes, managing partner of Carlisle-based firm Cartmell Shepherd.

Holmes’ journey from Scotland to Norway and back, which he made with his wife Kitty in Damsel, their 37-foot Jeanneau Sun Odyssey, included run-ins with boat-battering waves, close encounters with killer whales, a mid-sea rescue and a clash with security forces.

Now, three of Britain’s leading sailing clubs have each presented Holmes with the coveted silver accolades awarded ­annually for outstanding performance and ­enterprise. The Cartmell Shepherd lawyer snapped up the prestigious Royal Highland Yacht Club’s Garvellach Cup for Endeavour, and the Clyde Cruising Club’s Coats Cup, first presented in 1911, for the year’s best cruise.

In addition, the 3,500-member Cruising ­Association honoured the voyage by ­presenting Holmes with its keenly fought-for Dolphin Cup at a recent prize-giving ceremony in London.

“I’m delighted that Cumbria is now the 2010 home for three of sailing’s most glittering prizes,” says Holmes, who is no doubt now heading somewhere with a very dry beach – and an even drier Martini.

PEP talk

Scottish-headquartered firm Maclay Murray & Spens may have had a more ­stable year in 2009-10 than over the ­previous 12 months, posting a small decrease in turnover ­coupled with hefty rises in net ­profit and average profit per equity partner (PEP), but surely there’s no reason to brag about it?

Tulkinghorn learned recently that Maclays has trademarked the phrase ’very smart people’.

PEP may have been up by 20.5 per cent, from £220,000 to £265,000, but frankly that’s nothing compared with ­Shoosmiths’ ridiculous 70 per cent boost. Clearly, if Maclays’ lot are ’very smart’, then the Northampton lot are a bunch of geniuses.

So what does that make ­Halliwells?

Merger most horrid

This just in. Rosenblatt Solicitors senior partner Ian Rosenblatt’s rationale for avoiding mergers: “Why make myself poorer and ­someone else richer?”

Welsh dressers

Lytec general counsel Mohammed Malique, Welsh football legend Ryan Giggs and wailing Phoenix Nights star Patrick McGuinness. When this picture found its way to Tulkinghorn’s inbox he demanded an explanation.

It turns out that Welshman Malique hails from Newport – everyone’s favourite Welsh city after it was popularised in the music video Newport (Ymerodraeth State of Mind), a parody of Jay-Z’s Empire State of Mind.

But rather than the fondness for “chips, cheese, curry” and fleece-wearing celebrated in the internet sensation, Malique is better-known for his sharp dress sense. So sharp, in fact, that even multimillionaire sportsmen are stopped in their tracks.

Malique bumped into the Manchester United star at The Collection on Brompton Road, in the run-up to the Soccer Aid weekend last month.

“Funny actually,” says Malique. “We were out the other Friday and met Ryan Giggs and Joe Calzaghe. Giggs came over and said: ’Mate, you look dapper.’ I replied: ’Well, that’s because I’m from Newport.’ Giggs turned to Nicky Butt, who was with him, and said: ’See! We all dress like this in Wales’.”

A brief walk through Newport city centre, or any Welsh town for that matter, will confirm this isn’t true.

Still, sports stars aren’t the only people Malique has impressed. His colleagues at Lytec have dubbed the picture a “meeting of two Welsh legends”.

Sadly, not even Malique can explain what McGuinness is doing behind him.