Tulkinghorn: V for Victory?

Tulkinghorn is not a big fan of toilet humour, but was nevertheless amused to discover that a leading London chambers proved, in its submission to this year’s Lawyer Awards, that it can’t spell ’privy council’ (note the single ’v’, guys).

The set should hire Taylor Wessing’s 90-year-old proofreader Reg Frary.

Tinkle tinkle legal star

Tulkinghorn learnt of some of the perils of hiring star lawyers the other day thanks to this insight from a leading recruitment ­consultant.

“I was in a meeting with a well-known partner ­candidate and 45 minutes in, out of the blue and with no preamble whatsoever, he looked me straight in the eye and said, dead pan, ’I need a piss’,” recounted the visibly shocked ­talent-spotter. “I thought at first it must be some sort of coded ­message. I started racking my brains for what it
might signify, but then he got up, walked out and came back a few ­minutes later. At least we knew where he’d been.”

Tulkinghorn is sadly unable to say whether the candidate got the job, or whether the recruiter washed his hands of the whole thing.

Joined-up thinking

Tulkinghorn knows how hard it can be to remember names. And he is ­apparently not alone in his susceptibility to selective amnesia.

One of his spies recently discovered that the erstwhile head PR ­honcho at Lovells Chris Hinze last week had a helpful aide-mémoire installed for him.

“Remember: say ’Hogan Lovells’,” it read in bold type on his screen.

Tulkinghorn could use a few of these handy notes. He has already ­commissioned some from his army of helpers: “Mum’s birthday – buy bath salts”; “Write news
– try not to libel anyone”.

Beyond the Vinge

The associates at Swedish powerhouse Vinge must be earning a pretty pennyif the ­profligate behaviour of one of their number is ­anything to go by.

Jonas Bergström has managed not to close the matrimonial deal with Swedish Princess Thérèse Amelie Josephine, Duchess of Hälsingland and Gästrikland. The pair were set to marry (just as soon as Bergström could remember his bride-to-be’s full name) until the silly boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

In this case the cookie jar was a pretty Norwegian student by the name of Tora Uppstrom Berg, who promptly did a kiss and tell.

The upshot? Bergström is back at Vinge, minus the princess. There’s a moral there somewhere, if only someone could point it out to Tulkinghorn.

Getting back to where you one belonged

Word reaches Tulkinghorn of yet more ash-related derring-do by plucky British lawyers stranded abroad.

Ashurst senior partner Charlie ­Geffen wins the chivalry prize. Having caught the last flight from Delhi to Rome as airspace was ­closing, he procured a car from some Italian lawyer colleague and drove to Paris, giving a lift to a stranded man he’d met on the plane who had to be back in time for his daughter’s birthday.

Linklaters banking partner Adam Freeman was stuck in a swanky hotel in the Canaries trying to schmooze the cream of the UK sporting establishment in the shapes of Greg Rusedski and Gary Lineker. Unfortunately, before he could bag a round of golf with Gary, the Match of the Day presenter skedaddled on a special BBC flight. They don’t call it the world service for nothing.