Tulkinghorn: Sandal ­bearers

SJ Berwin partners were clearly making a nostalgic revelation about their school days when the firm decided to opt for the slogan ’SJB H RE’ as part of a branding onslaught.

Who’d have thought the likes of Rob Day and Jonathan Blake would be so keen to express their longing for the old days of turning to page 1,004 in the Authorised Version, or colouring in the five pillars of Islam?

In fact, the firm was so keen to show how much it loved RE that it handed out smart little badges to prove it, emblazoned with the now ubiquitous mantra ’SJB H RE’.

If there are any avid pupils out there who share their initials with SJ Berwin, Tulkinghorn would be keen to help endear them to their religious education teacher by supplying a badge. Names and addresses please on the back of a copy of the appropriately named brochure ’SJ Berwin: Get Real’.

Sound mover

Rarely does a partner ­resignation throw a firm into quite so much disarray as Richard Skelton’s.

While Tulkinghorn approves the decision by the former Travers Smith corporate tax partner to abandon documents in favour of fine food and lie-ins, he has serious ­concerns about the firm’s succession planning. For Skelton is the organiser of the firm’s yearly carol ­concert at St Bartholomew the Great, noted for his uncanny ability to pull in ex-choral scholars across the City to create an ­unfeasibly professional-sounding choir.

Luckily Skelton’s replacement – one Gregory N Chant – is expected to do a sterling job in his stead.

Fine whine

A City lawyer who prefers to remain anonymous recently gave an illuminating insight into his personal life when he wrote the following: ­”Complaining is the most fulfilling activity any human being can perform. A comparison with sex bears this out.”

This lawyer loves ­banging out a complaint, one after the other. He likes to stay up late, often complaining several times a night. He can be found regularly working hard on his computer looking for things to complain about.

Apparently it’s better than sex. It follows, then, that complaining about sex must be positively blissful. Mrs Tulkinghorn must be on cloud nine.

Phenominal nominal

What’s in a name? Quite a lot if you’re a US law firm in Asia.

One of Tulkinghorn’s spies recently met Jon Pertwee lookalike James Cobbett QC of Kobre & Kim. The US firm’s London litigation head issued a stark ­warning for any ­expansionist-minded ­management teams out there.

“In Mandarin our name roughly translates into ’a large number of pots of gold’,” said Cobbett.
Pretty much does what it says on the tin then.

Scrappy do

It is with some disappointment that Tulkinghorn brings you news of a brawl among lawyers this ­summer.

Having been invited to a five-a-side football match organised by Brewer Morris in aid of TaxAid, Tulkinghorn was looking forward to an evening of Pimms on the matchline. Allen & Overy, Norton Rose and Slaughter and May all fielded teams for the tournament and all appeared to be going swimmingly.

That is until Howard Kennedy’s showdown with Reed Smith. A not so well-placed tackle from a Howard Kennedy partner sparked tempers among their Reed Smith opponents. All of a sudden it was handbags at dawn.

Well, Tulkinghorn isn’t used to such antics among his lawyerly friends; it’s not the sort of thing that would happen in cricket.

One was relieved when the bravado calmed and everyone shook hands before leaving the pitch for post-match kiss-and-make-up beers.