Tulkinghorn: Motor mouth

The piece last month was headlined ‘Island lawyers are costliest in the world’. “It’s such a hot topic that more than 60 people made online comments, an unheard-of number in this market,” says Diamond.

Thanks are due to ­Diamond for pointing out his favourite comment, “written, I believe, by a lawyer to justify the huge fees”.

And here it is: “The only reason the average is ­higher in Jersey is because of the industry. Much of the financial work is ­costlier than other practice areas, such as criminal and family law. But anyway, it pays for the Porsche!”

Lady of the lake

Forget profit per equity partner. What really ­highlights the gulf between firms is what they keep in their lobby. Take Slaughter and May. Most people must surely know by now that the blue-blood outfit has a water feature in its entrance hall. Or should that be a ‘water hazard’?

The Lawyer’s sister ­magazine Lawyer2B was over at Slaughters last week on a photoshoot for a ­profile of the UK’s top graduate recruitment managers. The list ­included the lovely Claire Evans, graduate ­recruitment executive at DLA Piper. Evans had clearly never been to Slaughters before - why on earth would she have? - and walked straight into the infamous indoor lake.

Luckily, as most readers will also be aware, ­Slaughters’ front-of-house staff keep a ready supply of socks behind their desk for just such unfortunate ­incidents. Although ­Tulkinghorn suggests that anyone planning a meeting there takes wellies - ­presumably Hunters.

Quip night

Over at Chancery Lane the other night (1 October) for a dinner marking the opening of the Law ­Society’s legal year, the best comment of the evening was an aside overheard as the assorted bigwigs ­mingled beforehand.

One of Tulkinghorn’s spies was close enough to hear current president Robert Heslett tell an aide: “I’ve cut my speech short to make way for Des.” (‘Des’ being Desmond Browne QC, chair of the Bar ­Council).

But then Heslett outdid himself, beginning his pint-sized presentation with the rather ­memorable: “Welcome to Bob’s big night out at Des’s diner.”

After a start like that, the remainder was always going to be lost to posterity.

Promising candidate

How’s this for nerve? Thanks once again to Lawyer 2B, Tulkinghorn learnt of a student who emailed the UK’s top ­graduate recruitment ­executives asking for £50,000 in sponsorship
to cover the cost of their LPC fees and inevitable student debt.

In return, they promised to stay on for five years after qualification. Surely a good deal?