Tulkinghorn: Hush blush crush

“I was dismayed to read in this week’s Tulk the ­reference to a cover of Kula Shaker’s Hush,” began the rocktastic ­reader. “If Tulk was as old as I am, he/she would realise that Kula Shaker’s version was a copy of Deep Purple’s cover of Joe South’s original. I will climb back into my box.”

But what’s this?

When Tulkinghorn duly returned to said article he found the following: “[The Acquired] got through a very technical set list without any flaws and pulled off a massive crowd-pleaser with Kula Shaker cover Hush.”

Surely, while not ­highlighting the epic song’s precise ancestry, the reference to a “Kula Shaker cover” should at least exonerate the author from blame?

Either way, thanks are due to Burness axe ­wielder-in-chief Philip Rodney for raising what could have been a serious issue of Royal proportions.

Motorvating factor

And here’s yet more from Burness, Tulkinghorn’s favourite Scots-based diary story-generating firm of the week.

As most people should know by now, Tulkinghorn has his spies everywhere. And what better way to ensure he never misses a trick than to use social media?

Over to Burness employment partner David Morgan, who tweets as @DavidMorganLLB.

Morgan recently ­tweeted: “Glasgow to London by car in six hours #ashcloud,” ­referring to a torrid tale of beating the volcano by using four wheels to beast it down to London for an HR-related bash at The Wolseley.

Now, it has been some time since ­Tulkinghorn has taken the well-trodden route between Glasgow and London, but six hours did seem a bit racy, even for a lawyer.

Tulkinghorn tweeted back: “Six hours? Were you speeding??”

Morgan’s response, much like President Barack Obama’s reference to the Pope, the Queen and Nelson Mandela, sounded like the start of a very bad joke: “Four lawyers and an excellent driver…”

Was it worth it?

Well, one waitress at The Wolseley was ­overheard saying that the chat was better than the night before, when Hillary Clinton and her entourage had taken the same ­private dining room.

Wheels of justice

Pesky petty thieves be warned: stay away from the Inner Temple.

After suffering the theft of his last bike, Blackstone Chambers clerk Colin ­Evason was flabbergasted when, out of his office ­window, he saw a would-be thief tampering with his bike lock.

Sensing skulduggery, Evason and his crime-fighting colleagues Derek ­Sutton and Dean Tolman immediately aimed to see off the latest unwanted intruder.

The plucky clerking ­colleagues dashed out of the office in ­different directions and, as if re-enacting an action scene from their favourite TV cop show, tracked the robber down and got him cornered. A citizen’s arrest was made, the police were called and the blagger was bundled into the back of a Black Maria. Possibly.

Still, Tulkinghorn believes it is only right and proper to issue a warning. While those lucky enough to be working at the Inner Temple may be protected by the newly established crime-fighting gang - Lycra one-pieces apparently already on order - bikes are being stolen to order and the Temple is a prime ­target. Watch out.