Tulkinghorn: Holding out for a hero

Tulkinghorn is often shocked by the way lawyers are represented in popular culture. Most fictional characters are either incompetent buffoons (see The Simpsons’ Lionel Hutz) or downright evil (Al Pacino in The Devil’s Advocate).

Holding out for a hero

Tulkinghorn is often shocked by the way lawyers are represented in popular culture. Most fictional characters are either incompetent buffoons (see The Simpsons’ Lionel Hutz) or downright evil (Al Pacino in The Devil’s Advocate).

It’s a depressing trend, and Tulkinghorn has long thought the profession needs a positive role model a hero, if you will.

After meeting one of our scribes last week, we think we’ve found an ideal candidate. You wouldn’t like her when she’s angry, but Jennifer Walters aka SheHulk has been representing the legal profession for years within the comic book world.

A humble criminal attorney before receiving a blood transfusion from her irradiated cousin Bruce Banner, Walters continued the day job even after transforming into a superhero.

You might imagine that being gigantic and greenskinned would hinder a legal career, but you’d be wrong. Walters joined the staff of New York district attorney Blake Tower, who worked with several superheroes, including Captain America. According to the Marvel website, she currently works in the Superhuman Law division of Goodman Lieber Kurtzberg & Holliway. Which just goes to show, even superheroes need a good lawyer.

Tulkinghorn welcomes suggestions from readers about other legal heroes, real or imagined, to further boost the profession’s image. SheHulk at least certainly gives a whole new meaning to a ‘size and shape’ review.

Rock and a hard place

Two months before they pick up their instruments in anger, the cracks are already beginning to show among the contestants for the legal profession’s firstever battle of the bands.

“Musical differences sums us up,” said Addleshaw Goddard partner and rhythm guitarist Jonathan Tattersall. “We make Spinal Tap look like Led Zeppelin.”

Expect on stage fireworks when Homer and the Springfields takes to the stage on 18 June. The band, put together after a boozy night in Tokyo spent watching Whitesnake on TV, is the one to watch if it’s onstage strops and fallings out you’re after.

“We’re aiming for full on physical violence,” admitted Tattersall.

Which managing partner said the new partners who joined his firm following a recent merger at least had a good understanding of the important things in life: ‘Cuban cigars and malt whisky’?

Rock inflicted injuries are already plaguing the Addleshaws outfit.

“I just saw AC/DC last week and only got the hearing in my left ear back on Friday,” said Tattersall. “Still, that’s not as bad as John [Emerton, litigation partner and lead axeman]. He lost the hearing in his right ear watching Saxon at the the Hammersmith Apollo in 1981. We think he’s the world’s first deaf lead guitarist.”

The Lawyer will be keeping tabs on each of the six bands taking part in this inaugural talent contest. Simon Cowell, eat your heart out.

Tight on entry

Shearman & Sterling’s hopes of beefing up its London and European network were almost derailed at the last moment, Tulkinghorn
can reveal.

New European managing partner Creighton Condon was left hanging around in New York on tenterhooks during March wondering if he was ever going to get a visa. The reason? It was all thanks to the UK Government’s new tightened entry requirements for foreigners wanting to work in the UK.

“I just beat the deadline,” Condon admitted.

In last week’s issue, Shearman senior partner Rohan Weerasinghe described Condon’s new role as partly “whipcracking”. Whether the European MPs partners are as relieved as Condon that he finally got the green light to come to Blighty is unclear.