Tulkinghorn: Electric shocker, hair and faces and two left feet

Adam Freeman, Linklaters

Robert Elliot, Linklaters’ Global Head of Banking is a very persuasive man and so one morning at breakfast in Silks, the firm’s in-house restaurant, I found myself agreeing, against my better judgement, to grow a moustache and be one of our Movember “champions”.

My feelings of unease were not helped when I got home and told my nine year daughter, Lily, of the planned facial hair only for her to promptly burst into tears.

The firm’s 2008 Movember campaign also had a lot to live up to: in 2007 150 members of the firm participated and we raised over £80,000 for prostate cancer research. It also provided a platform for Charlie Jacobs to pretend to be Magnum P.I. and get his pictures in the papers again (Charlie, which PR agency do you use mate?).

Well we are now over two weeks into this year’s Movember campaign and we are not doing too badly: we have over 100 people participating across the global network including London, Amsterdam, Dubai, Stockholm and Singapore, and as a team we are currently ranked 3rd in the UK in terms of money raised.

And what of my “Mo”? We have an uneasy friendship. The second week is certainly an improvement on the first. I blame my hair colour for the poor showing initially but I found myself compelled to remind friends and colleagues that I had fathered four children when questions were raised about my lack of hair growth which I viewed as an attack on my masculinity.

It is also interesting to note that some of my colleagues have said that in some primeval way their new facial hair makes them feel more manly; I think they need to get out more often and play contact sports.

My wife suggested this week that there were elements of ginger in my “mo” - I pleaded the same defence as Prince Harry. It is also weird that the hair on my top lip (blonde/brown, I say) is different to the “handlebars” on my chin (black/brown) - I would have gone to my grave unaware of this anomaly but for Movember.

Having a mo’ has also given me greater respect for those that have facial hair in terms of their daily grooming routine, because the precision shaving around my handlebars adds a considerable amount of time to my ablutions.

It has also revealed that a very prim and proper mum at my sons’ school has watched a lot of ‘70’s porn as she compared my “handlebarred” look to certain stars of that genre.

Will I be keeping it? Well if you sponsor me enough……

Hairs and faces

So with the difficult first week far behind us, Team Tulkinghorn’s collective moustaches are growing bushier. Now it’s just a case of making friends with the lip wig and pushing on to the next level. Remember, you can support Team ­Tulkinghorn in their efforts by sponsoring them at www.movember.com.

Kit:
“My girlfriend says it looks stupid and she hates it. I don’t agree – I think it looks manly.”

Kian:
“I’m going for the quantity over quality approach.”

Ben:
“I can’t get used to it – it doesn’t feel like me. Every day is like the beginning of an episode of Quantum Leap.”

Tom:

“Nothing’s happening on my face. It’s going to be a long month.”

Happy? You can say that again…

The title of happiest law firm in the world is a coveted one, but Tulkinghorn thinks he’s found the winner: Freshfields Bruckhaus Deringer, believe it or not.

The joy of working in a law firm comes from the top, and the Freshfields management likes to drive home just how delighted they are with everything by means of a little repetition.

A few weeks ago, the firm nominated its new counsel and Ted Burke, chief executive at Freshfields, said in a statement: “We are delighted with these new appointments, which reflect the ­exceptional talent present within the firm.”

Funnily enough, back in June, he said: “We are delighted with these new appointments, which reflect the exceptional ­talent present within the firm.”
Just a few weeks before that, in May, Konstantin Mettenheimer, joint senior partner at Freshfields, was quoted as saying: “We are delighted with these appointments, which reflect the ­exceptional pool of talent present within the firm.”

If they are that ­delighted, imagine how happy everyone else is.

Electric shocker

Tulkinghorn and his scribes are great fans of ­little law firm freebies. You know, stationery, biscuits, mints. That sort of thing.

And it appears that CMS Cameron McKenna ­managing partner Duncan Weston thinks along the same lines. Having moved house from Switzerland to the UK, Weston has been using branded CMS travel adaptors so that he can keep hold of his European appliances – the very same adaptors that gave an electric shock to a Cambridge ­University student following a graduate diversity event last month.

Tulkinghorn’s mole understands that ­Weston is a little worried about the situation and is thinking up ways to make his house a bit safer.

Fancy a date?

Tulkinghorn has often been accused of using any old excuse to publish ­pictures of scantily clad women. So, being an equal opportunities employer, here are some of men.

The pictures have been brought to you courtesy of Welsh law firms Darwin Gray and M&A Solicitors. Both sponsored the charity calendar for Cancer Care Cymru featuring the rugby boys of the Celtic ­Crusaders in tight T-shirts. So lie back, think of Wales, and enjoy.

Two left feet

Still on the subject of freebies, it seems that a marketing consultancy called Size 10½ Boots has been harassing senior partners with its own bizarre giveaways.

Tulkinghorn scribes have heard that Ian Pittaway, senior partner at Sacker & Partners, received a single football boot in the post from the consultancy.
It was for a left foot and Tulkinghorn assumes it was size 10½. Not exactly very useful, unless you only have one leg – which would make football rather difficult to play in any case.

Tulkinghorn’s mole at Sackers said: “I assume it must have gone to other senior and marketing partners, so there must be hundreds of these single boots out there in law firms. All utterly useless at great expense. Scope, perhaps, for The Lawyer to introduce a boot exchange scheme?”

Tulkinghorn likes this idea, so write into him if you would like the boot to be on the other foot.