The Sun shines on Shoosmiths

Despite his own high elevation of birth, Tulkinghorn likes to stay ‘in touch’ with the proletariat, greeting with an indulgent smile the great unwashed’s penchant for snow-white training shoes, tabloid newspapers and association football.

And so it was that when perusing a discarded copy of a popular plebeian journal known as The Sun, Tulkinghorn came across a report entitled ‘Foul Play by Soccer Coach’s Ex’ nestled between a reading of portents of the future by a gypsy mystic named ‘Meg’ and a pictorial scene of titillative nature entitled ‘A Bevy of Blackpool Beauties’.

The journal conveyed the
tale of association football ‘coach’ Mr Julian Symes esq, 45, who “paid the penalty” when he loaned his motor car, a Vauxhall Corsa, to former mistress Miss Nicola Barker, 38, who sold the vehicle and invested the proceeds toward her private financial furtherance.

Mr Symes was left owing a finance company in excess of £2,000 on the car, he claimed, but could not afford to pay the debt after giving up his work for financial gain in order to care for his three “kids” (this term apparently refers to the gentleman’s progeny).

Mr Symes, the story continued, claims Miss Barker began taunting him over his pecuniary misfortune, even though it was she that had “flogged” the very same vehicle for £1,200.

What caught Tulkinghorn’s proverbial eye, however, was not Mr Symes’ fiduciary tribulations, but rather his claims that Miss Barker arrived at his house in Canton, Cardiff, late at night, in a spirit of mockery and jest, repeatedly proclaiming the verse: “Shoosmiths is going to get you, Shoosmiths is going to get you.”

The well-known Midlands-based firm is the adviser for the motor vehicle finance company Park Motor Finance Gateway Credit. Mr Waine Mannix, the partner in charge of the firm’s finance litigation and recoveries team, informed Tulkinghorn that he was “delighted to hear that our finance litigation and recoveries team is so highly regarded and endorsed by a national newspaper”.

The firm’s head of marketing Karen Carter declined to confirm whether the gutter press and taunting harridans were to be central planks of Shoosmiths’ marketing strategy in future.