The iceman cometh

At Christmas time, the phrase ‘splash it all over’ usually conjures up images of Henry Cooper and Brut, at least for those of a certain age. Not for those in Allen & Overy’s (A&O) corporate department, however – at least since its riotous Christmas party, that is.

The bash featured a lifesize vodka luge that was what can only be described as ‘well hung’ (and Tulkinghorn doesn’t mean from the wall). Apparently, the positioning of the frozen fella caused much of the vodka to hit drinkers’ faces instead of their throats.

For the uninitiated, a vodka luge is an ice sculpture with a hole from which revellers sup the see-through spirit. In this case, the hole was on the end of a remarkably lifelike schlong.

The chilly chap doesn’t seem to have gone down well with one anonymous attendee, though, who addressed Tulkinghorn thus last week: “At the bar there was an ice sculpture consisting of a figure’s upper body, complete with penis. You can probably imagine what the penis was for – delivering vodka shots to willing drinkers. Although there were many takers (particularly among the ladies), I for one found it deeply offensive and completely inappropriate. I would be interested to know how management can possibly justify this.”

As far as A&O’s iceman goes, well, unfortunately the management preferred not to talk about the shenanigans. But then there has already been enough said about the corporate team’s lacklustre performance in the last financial year. Perhaps with so much poor technique and lost liquid on display, they were simply too embarrassed to comment.